Say No to Mom Guilt
As a Black working mother, you’re used to carrying everything. You juggle your career and your family like a pro. You try to be a professional at work, a good partner or friend, and a good mother. And sometimes, it feels like you’re failing at all of these roles.
This tends to hit hard around the start of the school year.
You might feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with your kids. You might feel guilty for not being able to make it to every school event. You might even feel guilty about not keeping an Instagram-ready home and dinner-table.
If you feel this way, know that you’re not alone! But you’re not doing everything wrong, regardless of what your brain is trying to tell you.
I want you to start out by reframing your thinking. Instead of focusing on all the things you’re not doing, focus on what you are doing. You’re setting a strong financial foundation for your family and being a good role model for your kids by showing them women can be successful in their careers and their families. You’re also making a difference in the world through your work. It’s all about the mindset!
Next, give some thought to your priorities — and what’s realistic for you. It’s okay to say no to events or volunteer requests, especially if you don’t feel, deep down inside, that they’re the right fit for you and your family. Setting boundaries is a strong move that allows you to take the wheel.
Taking care of yourself is another way to empower yourself and fuel your physical and mental health. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Find things that you enjoy doing outside of work and family. Even superwoman needs to take a break.
And don’t go it alone! One of the worst things about working mom guilt is the way it feels like you’re the only one going through this. Surround yourself with a reliable support system that understands and respects your ambitions as a professional and a mother. Finding a community of other Black working mothers gives you a safe space to talk about your ups and downs, hopes and fears. They can offer you advice and support.
Remember, you’re not alone — and you’re capable of achieving happiness and success. You’ve got this!
